The Darwin Awards

The Darwin Awards honor those individuals who "do a service to Humanity by removing themselves from the Gene pool".

Two-fingers to insurance:
That's the second most idiotic thing I have ever heard. Second only to the chef at a hotel in Switzerland that had a finger ripped off by a meat-cutting machine. So as you do, he submited his claim with his insurance company.

Now, as part of the company due dilligence they are required to evaluate the claim for negligence. So, they dispatched one of their brief case carrying suited agents to investigate the claim.

So as part of the evaluation he reenacts the scenario to see if anything could have been avoided. So he turns the machine on, starts passing the meat through, just as the chef does and also loses a finger....


Cold Murder:
You know people have been killed for less. There is actually a story from Chicago, of a man who unable to find a parking space during a ice cold windy blizzard shoveled snow inorder to clear a space for his car.

After an hour he had finished clearing enough space to fit his car into so he went to return his shovel to the boot and drive the car to his newly created spot. 2 minutes later when he had got his car started and was about to park some lady scooted in and stole his space.
Understandably, he shot her.


Crazy bus ride:
Speaking of incompetency, there was a Zimbabwean bus driver who after stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from the capital Harare to another town Bulawayo had escaped.
Not wanting to admit his incompetence and lose out on his payment, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride to the town Bulawayo.

He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling passengers he needed to stop off an run an errand.

He got off the bus and then told the the staff that he had delivered his patients and that he wanted his money.

Just to cover his tracks he told the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.

The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days!


American Thiefs
Speaking of idiocy, some bloke walked into a 7-11, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change.
When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man whipped out a gun and demandedr all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly handed over.

The flustered robber grabbed the cash from the clerk and dashed out the door, leaving the the initial $20 bill on the counter.

Turned out, the total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $17.
He had held them up to give the $3.




8 Spoiled Breakfast


The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 AM, flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.


9 Got Gas?

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
The Glorious Winner

10 Brainiac Bullet
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.