"I Think there is a market for maybe 5 computers in the world" Thomas watson, Chairman IBM, 1943
"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." Western Union Internal memo, 1876
"There is no reason why anyone would want a computer in their home" Ken Olsen, Founder, Digital Equipment Corp. 1977
Saturday, 7 March 2009
Problem solving versus solution generating
During the cold war and the space race back in the 60's, the US was faced with a major problem. The astronaut needed a pen that would write in the vacuum of space. NASA went to work. At a cost of $1.5 million in R&D costs they developed the "Astronaut Pen". Some of you may remember. It enjoyed minor success on the commercial market.
They needed a way to record information and take notes in spaces. Ofcourse, without gravity a pen doesn't work. And there were no laptops or PDA's back then.
Inorder to solve this they invested hundreds of millions into designing a zero-gravity pen.
The Russians were faced with the same dilemma.
They used a pencil.
You don't always have to solve the problem, sometimes its smarter to simply concentrate on finding the solution.
Whole Olive Savings
You can't underestimate the savings one simple change can make for an organisation. You know, back in the 80s American Airlines saved $40,000 by removing one single olive from each salad served in first class.
That really demonstrates the benefits of operational efficencies.
One olive. One year. $40,000.
That really demonstrates the benefits of operational efficencies.
One olive. One year. $40,000.
Double Breast Feeding
On the tube and there was this woman brest feeding her child. Now to be clear I have nothing against this its just awkward when you are sitting opposite and you don't know where to look.
Now, typically I can get over the embarassment, but this woman had both her breasts out!
I mean, why? Now that is awkward.
At least she had a baby I suppose!
Thinking about it now, maybe she had twins and had left one on the tube while changing at King's Cross.
Now, typically I can get over the embarassment, but this woman had both her breasts out!
I mean, why? Now that is awkward.
At least she had a baby I suppose!
Thinking about it now, maybe she had twins and had left one on the tube while changing at King's Cross.
Sunday, 1 March 2009
The Darwin Awards
The Darwin Awards honor those individuals who "do a service to Humanity by removing themselves from the Gene pool".
Two-fingers to insurance:
That's the second most idiotic thing I have ever heard. Second only to the chef at a hotel in Switzerland that had a finger ripped off by a meat-cutting machine. So as you do, he submited his claim with his insurance company.
Now, as part of the company due dilligence they are required to evaluate the claim for negligence. So, they dispatched one of their brief case carrying suited agents to investigate the claim.
So as part of the evaluation he reenacts the scenario to see if anything could have been avoided. So he turns the machine on, starts passing the meat through, just as the chef does and also loses a finger....
Cold Murder:
You know people have been killed for less. There is actually a story from Chicago, of a man who unable to find a parking space during a ice cold windy blizzard shoveled snow inorder to clear a space for his car.
After an hour he had finished clearing enough space to fit his car into so he went to return his shovel to the boot and drive the car to his newly created spot. 2 minutes later when he had got his car started and was about to park some lady scooted in and stole his space.
Understandably, he shot her.
Crazy bus ride:
Speaking of incompetency, there was a Zimbabwean bus driver who after stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from the capital Harare to another town Bulawayo had escaped.
Not wanting to admit his incompetence and lose out on his payment, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride to the town Bulawayo.
He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling passengers he needed to stop off an run an errand.
He got off the bus and then told the the staff that he had delivered his patients and that he wanted his money.
Just to cover his tracks he told the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days!
American Thiefs
Speaking of idiocy, some bloke walked into a 7-11, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change.
When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man whipped out a gun and demandedr all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly handed over.
The flustered robber grabbed the cash from the clerk and dashed out the door, leaving the the initial $20 bill on the counter.
Turned out, the total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $17.
He had held them up to give the $3.
8 Spoiled Breakfast
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 AM, flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
9 Got Gas?
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
The Glorious Winner
10 Brainiac Bullet
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
Two-fingers to insurance:
That's the second most idiotic thing I have ever heard. Second only to the chef at a hotel in Switzerland that had a finger ripped off by a meat-cutting machine. So as you do, he submited his claim with his insurance company.
Now, as part of the company due dilligence they are required to evaluate the claim for negligence. So, they dispatched one of their brief case carrying suited agents to investigate the claim.
So as part of the evaluation he reenacts the scenario to see if anything could have been avoided. So he turns the machine on, starts passing the meat through, just as the chef does and also loses a finger....
Cold Murder:
You know people have been killed for less. There is actually a story from Chicago, of a man who unable to find a parking space during a ice cold windy blizzard shoveled snow inorder to clear a space for his car.
After an hour he had finished clearing enough space to fit his car into so he went to return his shovel to the boot and drive the car to his newly created spot. 2 minutes later when he had got his car started and was about to park some lady scooted in and stole his space.
Understandably, he shot her.
Crazy bus ride:
Speaking of incompetency, there was a Zimbabwean bus driver who after stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from the capital Harare to another town Bulawayo had escaped.
Not wanting to admit his incompetence and lose out on his payment, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride to the town Bulawayo.
He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling passengers he needed to stop off an run an errand.
He got off the bus and then told the the staff that he had delivered his patients and that he wanted his money.
Just to cover his tracks he told the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days!
American Thiefs
Speaking of idiocy, some bloke walked into a 7-11, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change.
When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man whipped out a gun and demandedr all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly handed over.
The flustered robber grabbed the cash from the clerk and dashed out the door, leaving the the initial $20 bill on the counter.
Turned out, the total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $17.
He had held them up to give the $3.
8 Spoiled Breakfast
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 AM, flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
9 Got Gas?
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
The Glorious Winner
10 Brainiac Bullet
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
Materialistic Stupidity # Darwin Awards
It like that story of the Italian who was queued at a rail road crossing in his shinny new Porsche sportscar.
The cars before him had stopped as the light just turned amber, but this lad, being a Porsche driver, had to overtake and get across before the lights went green. He had done the route several times and knew that not until around 3 seonds after the light goes green does the safety barrier starts to fall.
However, as you might have guessed, given Murphy's Law he didn't make the second safety barrier. So he was left their sitting in his shiny new porsche, listening to the kling kling kling warning of the oncoming train.
The cars before him had stopped as the light just turned amber, but this lad, being a Porsche driver, had to overtake and get across before the lights went green. He had done the route several times and knew that not until around 3 seonds after the light goes green does the safety barrier starts to fall.
However, as you might have guessed, given Murphy's Law he didn't make the second safety barrier. So he was left their sitting in his shiny new porsche, listening to the kling kling kling warning of the oncoming train.
Apparently, it took the driver awhile to realize he was stuck. But finally he jumped from the car and started to run--
STRAIGHT TOWARDS THE ONCOMING TRAIN, waving his arms in an attempt to save his sportscar!
He was partly successful. The car was in better shape than him.
Did he die? He ran into an oncoming train, ofcourse he died..
Why and how to tell a captivating story?
This Blog is a compilation of ideas/ premises/ arguments and corresponding anecdotes that support those arguments.
Why are anecdotes important?
Storytelling has been the key medium in which we have conveyed messages throughout the ages. From biblical fables to CEO 'real life stories', storytelling is the most natural way for us as humans to reatin key messages and ideas.
From a young age, we have grown up listening to fairy tales and stories from our parents, relatives and teachers. For this reason, this type of communication is easiest for us to absorb as it has been programmed into us from a young age.
We can take advantage of this innate communication ability to ensure our messages are more powerful and longlasting.
How?
Structure: SPADO
- Set the Scene
- What could be HEARD? What could be SEEN? What could be FELT?
- Identify the Players and what they were hoping to do/Achieve
- Describe how the plot Deviated from expectaions
- Describe what was the result of this Other Outcome
Techniques:
"It’s not the story, but rather how it’s told"
Mirror the style of your favourite speakers. Think about them as you speak. Obama, Jill Bolte, Tony Robbins, Seth Godin.
Use repetition. In folktales, events often repeat themselves in threes—a magic number. Pay special attention to repeated rhymes and phrases. Repetition helps your listeners stick with the story by providing familiar landmarks.
- "We need to be in first place; We need to be number 1; we need to be the best; "
- "We strive to be better; challenge the process; push the boundaries"
Use variety. Vary the tone, the pitch, and the volume of your voice, your pace, your rhythms, your articulation (smooth or sharp). Use silences. Remember, variety catches and holds attention. Think Obama and Blair.
Use gestures. but only ones that help the story. Use them to mime the action, or just for emphasis. Make them big! Gestures keep the eyes on you. Be passionate!
Focus on beginnings and endings. Strong beginnings are key to capturing attention. Create an image in minds.In Comedy 101, they teach you to be brief and get to the first laugh as quickly as possible. Opening with a strong punch will draw your listeners in and they’ll be more likely to stay invested if the story hits any flat points.
Endings should be clear, so your listeners know that your story’s over without your telling them. You can do this by slowing down and adding emphasis. “and that’s the end of that,” “and they never saw him again.” “and he never tried that again.”
Introduce Dialogue
When telling a story, dialogue gives you opportunities to enhance the impact of your message on the audience. Dialogue allows you to use variety in your vocal quality. As you take on the character of the person, you use a different tone of voice. You tend to change your rate of speech when you speak as another person.
In addition, when you become one of the people in the story, you have a good reason to take a step to the right or left to show that a different person is talking. You can also make people in your audience become the other person by making eye contact and gesturing toward that person.
The audience will pay better attention because of the change of pace the dialogue provides. And the story is more interesting when you involve other people.
A little boy came crying to his father with the news that his turtle had died. His father looked at the dead turtle in his son’s hand and thought fast. “I know,” he said, “we’ll invite some of your friends over and we’ll have a big funeral. We’ll dig a little grave in the backyard and make a little coffin, and we’ll have a parade. I’ll speak some words over dead Herkimer there and….” About that time, the father noticed that the turtle was moving. “Hey, son, look! Your turtle isn’t dead after all!”
The boy looked at the now animated creature, then looked at this dad with a sly grin and said, “Let’s kill him!”
Certainly, you want to have a point to make from any story. Here the point might be that you can be too good at selling an idea and should know when to stop selling.
Stories with dialogue can come from interviews you have had in developing content for your speech, personal experiences, historical events, and listening to other people in conversation.
Consider making dialogue a regular part of your speaking repertoire. In doing so, you will insure variety in delivery and more attentive audiences.
Mimic the characters. Good characters bring a story to life—so put life into them, with face, voice, gesture, body posture. Act out the policice officer's accent or the surprised face of the Amish man. Try to make each of them different enough so they’re easily told apart. Think Ricky Gervais.
Use descriptive language (onomatopoeia). Awaken the Visual, Auditory & Kinesthetic senses - bashed, banged, clashed, klinked, crushed, buzz, fizzle, flash, whizz, pop, plop, whallop, zoom, smashed. don’t use “big” when “hulking” or “astronomical”are more interesting.
Use funny detail rather than gerneric terms when have to describe anything.
- "It was an angry looking dog" vs. "This German Shepherd looked like he still believed the Third Reich was in power"
"He big man got into the car" vs. "The fat guy with his own gravitational pull, crammed himself and all 5 chins into his mini cooper, "
"She was ugly" vs. "She had a face like a bag of warts"
Ask Questions to engage the audience and invoke empathy. How are we going to get out of this we thought to ourselves?
What are the chances of this happening?
Where can we go now we thought?
What to do next we thought?
Evoke Empathy. You know that feeling ..
- You know that feeling that you have forgotten something but can't quite put your finger on what exactly it is.
- You know that feeling when you know you are wrong but just cannot allow yourself to capitulate.
“Who plays Pictionary?” and observe a man clapping and nodding his head, yes. “Doesn’t it drive you insane when you’re playing with your wife and she can’t tell what you’re drawing?” The nodding man answers yes, and the comic launches into the story he was going to tell in the first place. Ask the listeners questions during the story; it keeps them involved and they’ll laugh more when they relate.
Smile with Tongue in cheek. Communicate with a smirk. That way weird or strange things will come off as tongue in cheek. Use facial expressions. Open eyes wide to show passion and keep you awake.
Use Bridging. Link yourself by creating a "bridge" to a topic you are comfortable with..
Use Humour .
Self deprecation - "I'm possibly the worst person I know.."
Wit - "George Michael just called, he wants you in the toilet in five!"
Irony - "I just love it when your computer crashes when you are on the 11th page of your 12 essay for homework, that you have not yet saved - ah, Microsoft technology"
Exaggeration - "100 hundred million thousand million" , "She had a nipples the size of your head"
Funny analogies and similes:
"Like a van speeding down a hill towards a cliff face.."
"As funny as a buring orphanage"
"It's like Trying to change the wheels on a moving car"
"If you were a brand you'd be Iceland or Morrisons"
Pronounce each sound of each word distinctly.
Personalise. make a personal contact with your listeners. Talk to them—not at them—and don’t be afraid to talk with them. Look them in the eyes and hold for a couple of seconds.
Repeat the question to give yourself more time to answer. It also acts as a trigger for memories on the key words.
Call to action. request that the audience go out and do something.
Conquer fear.
- "What's the worst that can happen?" If you slip up, will it really matter 2 months from now?No, you can bounce back upon this experience.
- "When you live in a land where your firstborn isn't dying of terrible diseases and you're not being shot at, the worst thing that can happen to us is - we embarrass ourselves." Ricky Gervais
- Don't tell your audience about your nervousness. Anxiety typically doesn't show. Don't call attention to your nervousness or your audience will suddenly notice your shaking hands moreso than your message.
Use positive self talk. Negative self talk works, so why can't positive?
- Remember that you will never be able to please everyone and you may see a sour puss in the audience.
Be prepared for that -- and find your fans. Focus on the faces that are interested, listening,smiling, making eye contact, and give you energy. Don't allow yourself to focus on the negative audience members. This is easier said than done, of course as we naturally want to convince our detractors, but often you won't be able to change their minds and you'll just make your own nervousness worse. Focus on the friendly faces in the audience instead.
Remember, anyone who comes to hear is already on your side.
End on the biggest laugh - It defines how the audience remembers your speech.
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